Ending the Dark Days
by shes cured
Summary: It had been three hours since the kiss and everything was reeling in her mind. post series finale, oneshot.


**_I just like to see you happy._**

It had been three hours since the kiss and everything was reeling in her mind. She told Luke she would come back later, after the party, but she couldn't bring herself out of the blank stare at the TV. She wasn't even watching the movie, she was just staring and thinking a thousand thoughts a minute.

Rory probably saw. The whole town probably saw. They were probably even the latest town gossip, but that didn't matter to her. She remembered it did at first. It felt like a forever ago, but when they first started dating she didn't want the town to know because she didn't want them to talk about her, but not now. She didn't care anymore, because if them talking meant she got to keep Luke it was what she wanted.

She thought back to Lane's wedding and closed her eyes for a few seconds. Her drunken speech wasn't a proud moment – and as far as she knew her ex-boyfriend still didn't even hear the whole thing – but sometimes she wished Luke had heard. She thought about all the 'what ifs' if the town had spread the word of that night. Maybe it would have been that eye opening thing he needed to fight for her.

But part of her didn't care. It didn't matter that he didn't see it, because tonight they met up so perfectly, like the planets were finally in orbit again. It was as if everything was right… Like everything didn't end so awful and like he still loved her. Did he still love her?

 ** _I don't think I ever really loved anyone… until Luke._**

Of course, she knew she loved him. God, she tried so hard not to love him, but every time he stood in front of her he was just… He was Luke. He was _her_ Luke. She hated it, but he was her Luke, the man she fell in love with.

Rory came in the door and she smiled at her. She waited for it while Rory tried to make small talk, waiting for the kiss to be brought up, but she never said anything and left for her room. That didn't mean much. It wasn't a private moment, but she was grateful her daughter wouldn't pry, because she didn't really know what to think of this man who stole her heart.

 ** _Lorelai, this thing we're doing here me, you I just want you to know I'm in. I am all in._**

He said it. He said he was in first, but did that really mean anything? Was that able to cancel out all the things he said? Because he said a lot and it hurt – it hurt so fucking much. Half the time she wanted to rip out her soul when the thoughts came up, but they were there.

She didn't want them to be, but they were a part of her past.

 ** _You're the one who proposed in the first place._**

He threw that in her face. He didn't have the guts to propose, but she did and he threw the vulnerability and passion in her face. That would haunt her forever. She didn't want to dwell on it, but he said it and it wasn't easy to forget.

Most of the time she was confident – Lorelai was a confident woman – but sometimes she wondered if she blew the passion up. She was biased when she talked about their love. Maybe it wasn't as magical to him. She feared that he didn't feel fire in his veins when they touched.

She felt insecurity dwell over her. There was a knock at the door but she couldn't move. They kept knocking.

"Rory, can you get that?" she yelled. She couldn't function with this overload of thoughts.

She came out of her room, looking at her mom quizzically. She looked fine, but something was clearly wrong because the movie she was watching wasn't to the caliber of it warranting having her daughter open the door. Rory would know better than anyone considering she watched it with her mom four times.

She answered the door and smiled. That's when Lorelai knew Rory had no idea. There was so much confusion in her voice. "Luke? Hey! Come in."

 ** _I don't know what I was waiting for and I don't know what I was scared of, but I'm not, I'm not scared and I'm not waiting, I'm here._**

Luke walked in, clearly not minding that Rory wasn't fully sure if he was allowed in their house. Lorelai shot up from the couch. She didn't want him to see her looking so lost and prayed that her feelings were hidden. She wanted Luke to know that she wanted this. Whatever he was here for, she wanted it to be him coming back for her.

"I was just on my way to your place," Lorelai offered.

Rory smiled, waving at her mom to make her graceful exit. It was clear to her now that they needed privacy. "I'll be at Lane's."

They both didn't have it in them to say goodbye, they were so focused on each other.

"I can see that," he smirked.

She chanced a glance back at the TV and knew he called her bluff. Luke knew her too well. She reached for the remote to turn it off.

"You kissed me."

"No, I think you kissed me."

They both looked at each other sheepishly. Finally, Lorelai gave in. "I kissed you."

Just like she proposed to him. Maybe this was just another proposal to him.

 ** _This has been a great first date. / It only took us eight years to get here._**

"Do you regret it?" he stuttered out awkwardly. "You know… kissing me?" When she took a few seconds of silence the defense came out. "I'm sorry, I should have figured when you didn't come by-"

"Of course I didn't regret it, Luke," she interjected, amazed that he could think that. "That was a good first kiss."

"Too bad one of us wasn't a frog?"

Lorelai smiled, looking down at the memory. "Something like that."

Then, like a ton of bricks, her mind betrayed her and she thought of the loss. She was uncharacteristically paralyzed at the thought that he could choose to walk away again. He let her walk away. What if he changed his mind on her again?

 ** _It's like my life isn't even real to me unless you're there._**

He came back too late and she'll never let herself off the hook for sleeping with Christopher that night. She could have taken him back. Then again, maybe it's for the best because she wasn't ready to take him back at that point. She was exhausted from loving him.

She couldn't blame every thing on Luke, but it was just easier. In her mind she liked to blame Luke for pushing her away because that made it easier than admitting they were two flawed people who didn't work out. She couldn't look at the situation like that because she'd lose her hope.

See, she still had it. She had that slivering glimmer of hope, but if she admitted that it wasn't all his fault she had to accept that they didn't work out. She'd have to find something other than Luke having a daughter as their only barrier.

Lorelai didn't like to think of it like that.

 ** _It's now or never. / I don't like ultimatums._**

At the end of the day, he didn't choose her. Maybe it was unfair to expect him to drop everything, but he let her go so easily. Sure, he didn't like ultimatums, but he was in no rush to chase her. All he had to say to her was that he wasn't a fan of ultimatums, which was convenient because she wasn't a fan of giving them.

"Are you okay?"

Lorelai looked at her feet. It was the most bizarre feeling as tears came her eyes. She never thought she'd cry from a boy finding his way back to her, yet here she was.

"I'm so sorry, Lorelai. I didn't mean to upset you-"

"Stay."

"What?"

She looked up at him, her piercing blue eyes begging for him to listen to her. "Stay."

He gulped but walked closer. He was nervous to touch her again, but when he did it was bliss. He felt at ease and she hugged him like she used to. She hugged him like she meant it, a feeling he had missed greatly. He hugged her tight enough to make their break up seem so far away. She was so glad it finally felt so far away.

 ** _I need it to be over because I can't take this anymore._**

She closed her eyes again, repeating her thanks to God that the past was the past.

She had been struggling and everyone saw. It wasn't her proudest moment, being so weepy in front of Sookie – hell, in front of the town. She didn't want to be that girl who got her heart crushed and didn't recover until he came back to her, but here she was, finally happy again now that he was back.

"I missed you," he murmured.

She didn't have words that conveyed how much she missed him too. Even when he nixed her from his priorities, she found it in her to miss him gravely. She never felt as alone as she did after she broke up with Luke. She never felt as alone as she did when she got married to Christopher.

 ** _You can't just say that. You can't just say that it's over_**

"I love you," she breathed it out as if she'd been holding it in for too long.

She should have taken him back and kept going to the diner and not gone to Chris again... She should have done so many things differently – he should have done so many things differently too. They both weren't proud of how it all went down.

She felt him smile and heard the reassuring words loud and clear. "I'm so in love with you, Lorelai Gilmore."

"What are we doing?"

He had no answer.

"I'm all in," Lorelai whispered.

Luke laughed at that. "Trust me, I'm all in too. I mean it."

"I know you do," she promised.

 ** _You're the man I want to want._**

"I shouldn't have slept with Chris."

"I would have slept with him too," he sighed, shuddering at the awful truth in that statement. "I pushed you away. You were right. You lost me before the break up and it was stupid."

"Someone told you I said that?"

"Word gets around fast."

Lorelai pulled away and he felt so many mixed emotions seeing her glossy eyes. They were tearful but the smile on her face made it clear they weren't out of sorrow. "I can't not be in love with you. And I tried so hard."

"I am too. I love you and if I have to see you with anyone else-"

"It's you, Luke," she promised with desperation in her voice. He _had_ to believe that. "It's always been you."

He stared at her and didn't need to ask if she was sure. Lorelai was sure of everything. It's one of the things he loved about her.

And just like that, it was gone. Her doubts that they'd make it were gone, because they both knew they messed up last time and they both didn't want to go back to those days. Lorelai vowed she wouldn't let herself go back to the worst moments of her entire life. She'd rather live with Emily Gilmore than go back to the darkness of life without Luke.

"I want to make my forever with you," she murmured.

Luke ran a hand through her hair, "Set a date."

She tilted her head.

"We're going to follow through this time. Me and you. Official. In front of the whole damn town."

"Really?"

He nodded, confirming it confidently. "Set a date. Invite the whole damn town. I'm all in."

 ** _Once Luke Danes is in your life, he's in your life forever._**


End file.
